Week 6 - Nayonika Sen

The Weave of My Life: A reflection on Urmila Pawar’s autobiography
The pain of Dalit is usually assumed to be the pain of the Dalit man. The atrocities of caste fall heavily on his shoulders. He bears the brunt of capitalist exploitation and caste humiliation together. But, where is the Dalit woman? How has she grappled with being at the epicenter of caste, class, and patriarchy? A small glimpse into the life of Dalit women can be found in Urmila Pawar’s riveting autobiography, ‘The Weave of My Life’. 
Pawar recounts the stories of three generations of women from her family starting from her grandmother, her mother, and herself. She recollects how her ‘housing’ was located in the middle of the village so that the Mahars could be called to service at the whim and fancy of the surrounding upper-caste village. Their lives seemed to be in constant threat of attack from all corners. Knowing that caste is rooted in the idea of purity and impurity, she was still subject to patriarchal notions of impurity within the already oppressive structures of caste. Like many other Dalits, she converted to Buddhism after Dr. Amedkar’s call for a wide-spread conversion of Dalits to break free from the reigns of caste.  Pawar eventually went on to complete her MA from the University of Bombay and subsequently worked with the Dalit Women’s Organisation. 
Her story is that of self-discovery to some degree. Although there never seems to be a redemption from the shackles of caste as a system that continues to affect her life, she seems to find solace in a certain ‘weave’. The weaving of different stories of the women in her family, entwining to form a distinctive fabric of the gendered caste experience. The weaving of narratives held together by the shared trauma of generations. “It is the weave of pain, suffering, and agony that links us.” 


Nayonika Sen 

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